Planet earth has been made for mankind and it’s been too many years that human beings, animals, birds and other species are living on it. To live we require life and in life there is one thing common in all of us, and that’s to live with someone.
Among human beings marriage is the bond between a man and a woman. This bondage is meant to be strong and should rely on love and peace. Unfortunately, this is not the case now in 21 Century. On the other hand, some culture and societies and made in a way that they do not permit individuals living in it to live happily. There are many religions in this world, Islam is one of them. Islam teaches us love, brotherhood and peace. Furthermore Islam teaches us to live happily and to help others.
If seen and analysed deeply we can see that there are rights and duties assigned for everything. There are Rights and duties of son, daughter, wife and neighbours etc. Among these I would like to focus on the husband wife relationship.
In South Asian countries particularly Pakistan situation is bit different and worst, even though it is an Islamic country. It’s a country with some really good things like the hospitality in people, beautiful northern areas and much more. But here we are not going to discuss the positives of the country; instead we are going to put spot light on the stereotype of the region.
Most of the married cases in Pakistan are experiencing separations and divorces. The percentage has been increased now. There are lots of reasons but few would be discussed here.
1. The culture itself is one reason. Culture and Religion are two different things, but they are considered as a one single thing in Pakistan. Culture in Pakistan is linked with Hinduism, where as religion is totally another story to be discussed. There are many traditions in marriages like red bridal wears, birth of girl is considered bad, dowry, tradition of throwing rice at the time of rukhsati, mehndi, mayoon. Whereas religion says that these all are BIDHATS.
2. The upbringing of a child plays a major role in all this. When a child is born, gender is the main topic of discussion. If its boy people seems happy, and if its girl they seem sad. It is because a woman is considered as a second option or a burden because at the end of the day she has to go and they have to give dowry. On the other hand boys are considered an asset. Boys are allowed to do anything no matter good or bad. They have options and choices to do anything. They can study more, they can go out with friends, they have more knowledge, they have more exposure and the list goes on. Whereas for girls they have to stay home, can’t go anywhere as boys do, and they have to get married at early age. Boys have the right to choose the girl, but girl often do not have this right.
3. After marriage in 85% cases physical torture has been recorded according to one research. All the fault lies in the upbringing of a boy. 8 out 10 women are daily tortured in Pakistan in different ways. Some husbands have reasons, but mostly don’t. Reasons are:
b. Inferiority complex
d. No respect for women, because they have never been taught by their moms
e. Mostly men think that marriage is a burden
g. Physiological problems
h. Lack of religious knowledge
i. It’s in their blood to beat their wives
j. The thought that “ I AM HUSBAND” is the main problem
Whereas Islam is totally different and teaches us completely different story. To beat your wife is against Islamic rules.
Another problem in Pakistan is the HIJAB and Islam. Hijab and Islam are for all of us both men and women. But in Pakistan Islam and Hijab are considered for women only, which is another major problem. Men drink, they smoke and they are involved in every other activity, but when same is done by a woman she is considered bad in other words they call her a prostitute for no reason.
This mentality and this culture require some real solutions in order to make the system better.